一些英文笑话
 

>Teacher's Blue (26/2/02 RC)
>
>TEACHER: Why are you late?
>WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
>TEACHER: What sign?
>WEBSTER: The one that says, 'School Ahead, Go Slow.'
>
>TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your Maths sums on the floor?
>CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
>
>TEACHER: John, how do you spell 'crocodile'?
>JOHN: 'K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L'
>TEACHER: No, that's wrong
>JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
>
>TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
>SARAH: 'HIJKLMNO'!!
>TEACHER: What are you talking about?
>SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
>
>TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
>GEORGE: Here it is!
>TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
>CLASS: George!
>
>TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we
>didn't have ten years ago.
>WILLY: Me!
>
>TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
>TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.
>
>SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
>FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
>SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.
>
>TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
>JOSE: Don't bite any.
>
>TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with 'I'.
>ELLEN: I is...
>TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, 'I am.'
>ELLEN: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
>
>Teacher: Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
>Johnny: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day same
>time.
>
>Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry
>tree, but also admitted doing it.Now do you know why his father
>didn't punish him?
>Johnny: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
>
>Son: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
>Father: No. Why do you ask that?
>Son: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
>
>Teacher: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green
>and one is blue with red spots!
>Kirk: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at
>home.
>
>At a church school gathering, one little old lady approached a cute
>5-year-old girl and asked her where she got her good looks. 'I musta
>got 'em from my Daddy,' said the little girl, 'cause Mommy's still
>got hers.'
>
>Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped
>him, what virtue would I be showing?
>Student: Brotherly love.
>
>Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
>Sam: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
>
>Teacher: Desmond, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same
>as your brother's. Did u copy his?
>Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
>
>Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people
>are no longer interested?
>Pupil: A teacher.
>

呵呵。。。。